I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Found the puke drawer
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
