I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
