I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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