If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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