high people should be assigned attendants
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
