dude i'm inner monologue high
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
