I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize