So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize