Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers