my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.