Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
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My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
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When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.