Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman

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  (917): Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman http://tfl.nu/t3mw
  Replies (5) Good night (1597) Bad night (1099)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?

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  (734): What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo? http://tfl.nu/r7wm
  Replies (27) Good night (3531) Bad night (1582)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.

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  (850): It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store. http://tfl.nu/3zcn
  Replies (17) Good night (805) Bad night (2207)
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  (442): View more from California

  seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong

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  (442): seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong http://tfl.nu/rvkg
  Replies (16) Good night (1684) Bad night (3707)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.

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  (919): I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts. http://tfl.nu/d6ex
  Replies (32) Good night (3685) Bad night (587)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?

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  (616): whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name? http://tfl.nu/f6w0
  Replies (13) Good night (5239) Bad night (986)
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  (323): View more from California

  How did I end up in the pool?!

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Welcome to ASU

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  (323): How did I end up in the pool?! (480): Welcome to ASU http://tfl.nu/zi7q
  Replies (8) Good night (2499) Bad night (750)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room

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  (610): Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room http://tfl.nu/oqu1
  Replies (20) Good night (3645) Bad night (753)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?

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  (780): Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off? http://tfl.nu/9svp
  Replies (3) Good night (1305) Bad night (1021)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.

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  (765): I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today. http://tfl.nu/xjgq
  Replies (4) Good night (521) Bad night (1196)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."

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  (256): I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now." http://tfl.nu/g734
  Replies (6) Good night (1727) Bad night (495)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent

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  (+64): I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent http://tfl.nu/sl7e
  Replies (2) Good night (867) Bad night (424)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"

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  (808): He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time" http://tfl.nu/573f
  Replies (0) Good night (448) Bad night (286)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?

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  (508): How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster? http://tfl.nu/rbos
  Replies (1) Good night (310) Bad night (744)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"

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  (919): sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits" http://tfl.nu/jfhp
  Replies (1) Good night (671) Bad night (234)

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