Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

Hi

(805): View more from California

Babe...You're really smothering me right now

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(425): Hi (805): Babe...You're really smothering me right now http://tfl.nu/5pqv

Replies (34) Good night (919) Bad night (4744)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US

(703): View more from Virginia

It's the American dream

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(202): On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US (703): It's the American dream http://tfl.nu/z0hb

Replies (31) Good night (4175) Bad night (745)
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(386): View more from Florida

I wanna passion pit in your ass

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(386): I wanna passion pit in your ass http://tfl.nu/pjsj

Replies (27) Good night (678) Bad night (1743)
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(954): View more from Florida

Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!

(805): View more from California

God Bless America!

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(954): Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day! (805): God Bless America! http://tfl.nu/gnt7

Replies (134) Good night (6759) Bad night (1364)
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(850): View more from Florida

this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen

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(850): this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen http://tfl.nu/1apt

Replies (44) Good night (7987) Bad night (1000)
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(325): View more from Texas

my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.

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(325): my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song. http://tfl.nu/4wzc

Replies (11) Good night (1221) Bad night (3464)
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(302): View more from Delaware

just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.

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(302): just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach. http://tfl.nu/5cxr

Replies (3) Good night (2737) Bad night (718)
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(775): View more from Nevada

THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.

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(775): THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL. http://tfl.nu/wgt5

Replies (19) Good night (3616) Bad night (1458)
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(406): View more from Montana

You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.

(1-406): View more from Montana

That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.

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(406): You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands. (1-406): That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples. http://tfl.nu/g6g8

Replies (10) Good night (814) Bad night (2463)
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(512): View more from Texas

Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it

(1-512): View more from Texas

We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...

(512): View more from Texas

This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.

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(512): Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it (1-512): We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream... (512): This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life. http://tfl.nu/ar28

Replies (5) Good night (2709) Bad night (435)
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(330): View more from Ohio

And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain

(330): View more from Ohio

Marry him now.

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(330): And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain (330): Marry him now. http://tfl.nu/1169

Replies (6) Good night (1129) Bad night (362)
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(810): View more from Michigan

Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra

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(810): Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra http://tfl.nu/ryel

Replies (4) Good night (633) Bad night (320)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid

(1-708): View more from Illinois

I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.

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(708): Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid (1-708): I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for. http://tfl.nu/mlt7

Replies (1) Good night (461) Bad night (190)
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(862): View more from New Jersey

This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.

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(862): This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom. http://tfl.nu/h7oi

Replies (1) Good night (191) Bad night (336)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.

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(515): I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore. http://tfl.nu/112w

Replies (0) Good night (327) Bad night (248)

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