um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
