Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth

(508): View more from Massachusetts

so he'll probably take me somewhere nice

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(508): well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth (508): so he'll probably take me somewhere nice http://tfl.nu/ldxj

Replies (80) Good night (2853) Bad night (747)
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(913): View more from Kansas

the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job

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(913): the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job http://tfl.nu/faar

Replies (24) Good night (6763) Bad night (656)
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(480): View more from Arizona

this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.

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(480): this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking. http://tfl.nu/0htm

Replies (7) Good night (4347) Bad night (1122)
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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'

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(630): I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..' http://tfl.nu/mj73

Replies (6) Good night (3008) Bad night (893)
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(319): View more from Iowa

We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.

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(319): We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world. http://tfl.nu/rh6u

Replies (12) Good night (2922) Bad night (1686)
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(214): View more from Texas

If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.

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(214): If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class. http://tfl.nu/5suq

Replies (7) Good night (2813) Bad night (1075)
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(817): View more from Texas

did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?

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(817): did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER? http://tfl.nu/7lnp

Replies (10) Good night (2150) Bad night (1414)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.

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(920): Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit. http://tfl.nu/du3n

Replies (1) Good night (1181) Bad night (2278)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??

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(502): What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."?? http://tfl.nu/h07e

Replies (25) Good night (1544) Bad night (2746)
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(219): View more from Indiana

If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.

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(219): If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please. http://tfl.nu/b8so

Replies (4) Good night (1527) Bad night (655)
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(916): View more from California

the gays at disneyland are vicious

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(916): the gays at disneyland are vicious http://tfl.nu/i9ir

Replies (13) Good night (1899) Bad night (759)
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(217): View more from Illinois

getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am

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(217): getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am http://tfl.nu/jult

Replies (2) Good night (1502) Bad night (644)
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(970): View more from Colorado

I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life

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(970): I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life http://tfl.nu/g4bg

Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (728)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?

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(919): Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off? http://tfl.nu/ksmb

Replies (1) Good night (869) Bad night (331)
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(815): View more from Illinois

At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here

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(815): At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here http://tfl.nu/10xo

Replies (2) Good night (242) Bad night (117)

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