My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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