Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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