Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
