apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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