my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I understand Curling. That high.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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