If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
