I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Hippo gnu deer
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
