I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
