I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
