after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
that may or may not have been my penis.
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