You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize