He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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