Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
