If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize