doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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