Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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