I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I supernannyed him into submission
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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