maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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