my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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