When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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