I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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