ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
