got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
