dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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