am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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