i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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