I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
