she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize