Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
