Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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