i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
