To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
