Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Randomize
