im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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