And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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