look no pants
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs