His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE