Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Randomize
