Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
