Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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