is your mom at the bar?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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