i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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