summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
