guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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