He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
