I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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