There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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