Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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