Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
