I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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