At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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