I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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