some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...