I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.