well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry