The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.