Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober