It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.