I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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