At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
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Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
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As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry