why didn't you poke me back
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.