I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
